Little spoons don't ask big questions
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
