don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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