His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
