her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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