Just fell off a train. Bad.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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