i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
