found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize