She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
