Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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