That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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