John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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