he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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