Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
