I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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