Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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