Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
