I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
