the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
