i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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