im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Someone came in the potted fern
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
