you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
