"it" just moved
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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