dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
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Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
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Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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