I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
