She is in my trunk
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
did you just send me my own nude
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize