yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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