I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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