it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
