So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
