Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
