he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
