u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
