dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
