I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
