He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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