My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
