So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
