Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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