Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
