i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
