fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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