you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
pray to the hookup gods
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
