My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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