Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
