I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
