So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
