I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
