He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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