Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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