I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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