her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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