He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
