Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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