for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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