Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I supernannyed him into submission
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
