Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
