Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
