If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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