brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
